Why Do Guys Stop Putting in Effort? Many women have asked me this question, and the answer is always the same: They stop putting in effort because you allow them to.
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Let me guess, you’re reading this because a guy you’re dating has stopped putting in the effort, right?
I’ve been thinking about why do guys stop putting in the effort, and it came to me that I didn’t know if other men asked that before.
Most people would assume it’s because men are pigs or commitment-phobic. It couldn’t be more wrong. After all, if a guy wants something he will fight for it. They die for what we love.
Why do guys stop putting in the effort? What is the reason behind this? Why does a guy suddenly disappear from your life once he has you in his grasp?
It’s a hard pill to swallow when the man you are so crazy about just turns into the next guy.
Then, before you know it, you are on the receiving end of some excuse that he’s been too busy or that something came up. He somehow forgets to make time for you while he makes time for his other women.
Truly, it is a hard pill to swallow when someone truly important to you pulls away and gives you more and more reason to believe that he is losing interest.
The question remains: How many times can a person be hurt by putting his or her heart in the hands of another individual only to have it crushed underfoot?
How many times do we allow people to treat us with no respect and disregard our feelings?
How many times do we allow people to walk on us until one day we realize that our hearts are broken and their true colors are coming out because they don’t think they will ever get caught?
Well ladies, if this has happened at least once in your life then I’m sure it will happen again! And if it hasn’t happened yet, then.
Table of Contents
Understand Where Things Went Wrong
Breakups are never easy, but they can be made a lot harder when one of the people involved doesn’t understand why things went wrong.
It can be tempting to assume the other person is at fault, but if you want to make your next relationship successful, you need to take some time to figure out what went wrong.
In order to do that, you have to ask yourself some difficult questions about your past relationship and your own behavior.
If you’re willing to look at yourself critically and realize how your actions contributed to the end of the relationship, then you can try to avoid making those mistakes again in the future.
Here’s what you should ask yourself in order to put an end to all the assumptions and start fresh:
- Did this person feel loved?
- Did I communicate well?
- Did we have fun together?
- Did I respect this person?
- Did I share my feelings with them?
Once you figure out what went wrong, it’s time to move on. You’ll find it much easier to meet someone new if you can approach dating with a clear head and a new attitude toward relationships.
By asking yourself these questions, you’ll learn from your previous mistakes and avoid repeating them in the future.
Why Does He Stop Being Interested?
The reasons why a guy stops putting in the effort could be as simple as he no longer finds you attractive or goes too far and loses interest.
However, things can be a little more complicated than simply saying guys stop being interested because they no longer find you attractive.
Sometimes, there are underlying issues with the relationship that are causing him to lose interest – and you may not even realize it.
The Reasons for a Guy Quitting Can Be Due to:
You’ve changed. He thinks you’re not the same girl he fell for and he sees no point in trying if it’s going to be an uphill battle.
You’re not his ideal woman. He’s not necessarily going to tell you this, but he knows somewhere deep down that you will never fulfill his ideal woman criteria and this is causing him to put less effort into what he thinks is an unachievable relationship goal!
Life got in the way. He got a new job, moved house or he’s just too busy with life in general so doesn’t have the time or energy to invest in your relationship anymore!
He was never that into you anyway. This one is pretty obvious but I’d hate for any of you to think that all relationships end because of something YOU did, when in fact it wasn’t. He probably was in for something else.
To find out what the problem is and fix it!
How Can You Revive The Passion?
The truth is, life is a constant cycle of decay and renewal. You go through periods of time where you are completely in love with your partner one minute, completely irritated the next.
That’s OK. It’s normal. What isn’t normal is when the irritation starts to outweigh the love.
When that happens, it’s time to put in some extra effort to revive the passion that brought you together in the first place. Here are three ways to do it:
1) Work on yourself.
This doesn’t mean changing who you are as a person, but rather looking at your behavior and adjusting it when necessary.
If your partner has told you something bothers them about you — whether it be how often you swear when you’re mad or how often you check Facebook — then try to adjust that behavior.
It’s very simple but can make a huge difference in how your partner feels about you.
2) Be proactive in showing your affection to your partner.
You don’t need grand gestures – take out the trash without being asked (if they mentioned a day or two ago that they were going to do it), bring them coffee in bed when they’re sick, etc.…
These all show that you care about them and are willing to go above and beyond for them.
3)They don’t see the point.
If a guy feels like he’s already given you everything he has to give, it’s hard to make him feel otherwise.
When your relationship is new, it might seem like a lot of effort to plan a date or buy a present, but if he thinks you’re worth it and you make him feel good after the fact, he’ll willingly put in that effort.
But if he doesn’t think that way or thinks that you don’t appreciate his efforts, then there’s no reason for him to continue with the things that you enjoy together.
4)He’s scared of being hurt.
Maybe he has been hurt before and he doesn’t want to try again. Maybe he just doesn’t want to get attached again and have him heartbroken when something goes wrong.
Even if you’re not after anything serious, maybe this is his fear of commitment talking or his fear of being rejected.
5)He’s waiting for something else.
Many guys hold off on making a move until they know where things are going in the relationship.
Sometimes it takes a little time for someone to be sure about what they want from each other and how far they want.
Tips For Getting Back Into Dating Mode
There are few things more disheartening than putting in a ton of effort with no results.
If you’ve been on a recent dry spell, there are a few things you can do to get back into the game and put yourself out there again.
Here are some tips to help you get out of a rut and into the dating scene again:
Cut people out of your life that are holding you back. Are there people who constantly bring up the one that got away?
Get rid of those people because they are only going to bring you down. Surrounding yourself with positive people will help boost your confidence and bring you back into the game.
Figure out what went wrong in past relationships. Take time to reflect on your past relationship mistakes so that you don’t make them again. Figure out what didn’t work and how you could have changed it.
Do this by writing all your thoughts down or talking them through with friends or family until you have come to a conclusion about what went wrong and what is needed for your next relationship to be successful.
Get back to doing things that make you happy. If you spend all your time by yourself, then it’s easy for negative thoughts to creep into your head and make you feel lonely or depressed.
Takeaway: Things don’t always pan out the way we like. But you can have a happy ending if you’re willing to put in a little time.
One of the most common advice for women is to simply be themselves. This can imply multiple things.
Most of the tips actually acknowledge that there are varying levels of effort that any woman can make and it balances out in the end. There are plenty of ways men and women can complement each other or have complementary experiences together.
The bottom line is this—if you want to continue seeing a guy and he seems to be losing interest, try to figure out what went wrong yourself so you don’t lose interest too.
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